Desert Blooming
I told you so!
Gorgeous things are happening here in Scottsdale. (More next week with the prickly pear flowers arrive. I can't wait!)
I'll be over at Walgreens getting the Claritin D if you need me.
Have a colorful day!
Bari
A feature, a confession, and a discount code.
I'm super excited to tell you that I've been included in Uppercase Magazine's Surface Pattern Design Guide. Uppercase is a magazine run by two wonderful entrepreneurs who simply love design.
Ok got that out. Now the rest of this I've re-written this 10 times. I was simply going to do the standard, "hey look where I've been featured post", but I can't. I feel like I need to tell you a little more.
But I'm afraid you are going to think at best, I'm cheesy, and at worst, I'm an emotional mess. So please know that I've pulled on my big girl panties to tell you this.
Something about being featured in THIS publication has made me more proud than just the usual feature. You see, I've been at this for a decade. I started really getting into sewing all those years ago because I loved the designs on the fabric. The ride has been so crazy and dizzy since then, I'm not quite sure how I got where I am. And some of you may think, "Come on, she's so successful. How could she feel like this?". But the truth is, it's not easy to Actually. Make. A. Living. By. Creating. I'm not complaining about how I'm paid or what I'm paid. I have several great partners who I adore and am extremely grateful to have.
I'm just saying that to make it in surface design alone you have to reach a critical mass in the number of licenses you have and the number of surfaces that your work is on. That's just a fact. And it is NOT easy to get there.
Does being featured in this magazine mean I've made it? No. Certainly not. But the symbol of the recognition of being in this magazine... with the company I know I'm in... it is just one more thing that is keeping me going.
When I design, I feel like it's coming out of me from me feet up to the top of my head and out. I LOVE designing like it gives me life. There is nothing like believing in yourself and your work for getting you where you need to go. But a little recognition along the way is truly a boost.
Thank you, Janine and Erin. I'm am more than honored to be featured in your beautiful publication.
For a $15 discount on an Uppercase subscription, use code 'USPDG2014'.
Thanks for listening and not judging.
Have a colorful day,
Bari
11 things I learned or re-learned just yesterday...
1. If you pick up the phone and ask, you are likely to receive. (this goes with my mantra, "You don't ask, you don't get." Say that to yourself 10 times each morning.
2. I can take my designs that are finished in Photoshop and bring them to illustrator and update the colors. That one was a big "DUH".
3. Sitting in front of the computer in the same position for 12 hours will hurt your neck. And back. And other stuff too.
4. Productivity breeds productivity.
5. I am constantly losing my coffee cup. By time I find it, its stone cold. Even hours later, I deem it fit to heat back up in the microwave.
6. I love what I do. No. I really really LOVE what I do. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that because I'll get lost in the struggle instead of just enjoying the ride.
7. I have seriously awesome friends. I knew that already. But they are more awesome every day.
8. My kids can pick up ingredients for dinner at the grocery store, drive home and make it themselves.
9. My dogs always lie down where they know I will trip on them. They are doing this on purpose. It's conspiracy.
10. I'm addicted to Pinterest. So much so, that I am really going to have to park my phone away from the bed when I should be sleeping. Also, so much so, that I was in Pinterest Jail last night. (That's when you have too much action on there all at once and they think you are a trolling spammer so they lock up your account. Ooops.)
11. I used to love blogging, and I stopped because there were so many people doing it. I've decided to remember why I love it and not care what anyone else is doing.
Here's a cell phone cover piece I worked on late last night because I need a photo to fill this space. Words with no photos is still as boring as it was when I started this blog on May 1, 2007 and made "no photoless posts" a rule.
Ahhhhh... Days like today...
should happen more often.
Today was a rarity around here. I drove my kids to school ... in my pajamas. I didn't even bother putting a bra on (much to their chagrin). When I got back I had breakfast and coffee, painted for a bit, and then I sat on the sofa and embroidered. All. Day. And I was at *work*, people... work. Seriously. The embroidery is for a pattern that's coming out this spring... so I can definitely say I was working. On the sofa, in my pajamas. Bliss.
At 2:30 pm I picked the girls up from school (still in my pajamas), and then sat on the sofa an hour more and embroidered. At 4pm I went to the gym where I took a grueling and totally awesome spin class.
And now I'm showered and back in PJs!!!
I quickly fed the troops soup and sandwiches for dinner, and I'm off to embroider until bedtime. Or paint. It's behind me calling my name.
Perfect. Day.
As far as Super Husband is concerned, however, I worked my butt off. I know you won't tell.
Two Stories I Tell Myself.
I actually wrote this last night at midnight when I had racing thoughts as I tried to go to sleep. I wrote it on the notes app in my phone. And it helped me get to sleep. My thoughts were about how recently... well over the past several years really... I've been busting down the old walls I built around myself... How I'm rewriting my truth by destroying old negative self truths. By doing what I thought wasn't possible. The pictures in this post are just a small example. I've told myself for years that while I can design on the computer, I can't design with actual paper, paint and pencil. I believed this. Until I tried.
I have two stories. I'm going to tell you both of them because I'm betting at least some of you have similar stories. One is true. The other? Sadly, that's the one that's easier to hold on to. You've told yourself this story since you were old enough to start collecting stories. And you hold on to it because it is deeply rooted in personal history... some of which you may have been too young to understand.
The other story takes far more courage to believe. But in the end, it's your true story. And only you can write it.
Maybe it's the writing that makes it so difficult. It's gotta be 'eeked out of the dark recesses of who you really are.
The first story? You didn't write it. It's things that you assumed, it's something a teacher said in elementary school, it's the way a childhood friend treated you, it's simply your place in the birth order between you and your siblings. It's all too easy to hold on to.
This is that easy story... and though it's easy to remember, it's not without hardship. I've told myself this story stretching back to my earliest memories. I've told it even when I thought I wasn't. It's the story of what I'm not good at. What I can't do. It's the story about how I'm not liked. If you do like me, it's the story about how if you only knew the truth about who I really am, you would not like me anymore. It's a dreadful, painful story. The telling of it has shattered bits and pieces of me. And yet it's my voice that tells the story.
If only I/she could be quiet. There's a louder, happier story that needs to be told. A story that doesn't get told nearly as often as it should. A story that once and for all stomps out the smoke from the first story.
The story that needs to be told is the one in which I win. It's the one that says that when I try hard enough, I succeed. It's the one in which I'm good at things I never thought I could be good at. It's the one in which I'm not ashamed of my achievements (as if they aren't my own to share), but proud of them. It's the one in which I don't care if you like me, because I like me enough for the both of us. It's the one in which what I have is enough. I'm grateful. I'm peaceful. Although I tell myself this story over and over, it's at constant war with the other, prickly story. But it's this story that's gonna win. Is winning. Because I'm writing it... I'm not relying on old truths, half memories or something someone else told me.
Bit by bit, day by day, year by year ... it grows louder. It grows more fierce. It's angry at the old irrational story. It pushes through to be the one true story.
It's my story. It's your story. It's the true story.
We Are Not "Just" Anything.
I'm writing this for my daughters. And for my friends and my sisters.
I've heard this relatively often enough from my women friends for it to bother me ... "I'm just a Mom." or "I'm just a wife." Sentences that start with "I'm just...".
You may be a mom, a wife, a daughter or whatever you are. But you also are you. You are more than "just."
As my daughters get older, these thoughts go through my head more and more often. I hope my daughters become moms one day (far far far in the future)... and when they do, I want them to say, "I'm a mom". Not I'm "just" a mom. And if they have other ambitions, I want them to know that they can do what they set their minds to.
For so many years of my life I believed in my heart of hearts that "other people have talent" and "other people have the secret to success"... I literally felt like there was some sort of magic that "other people" had, and that I certainly did not hold the key. I thought I was "just".
Then one day it honest to goodness dawned on me... other people had what they wanted because they worked really really hard for it. Yes, people are born with certain talents and pre-dispositions, but they didn't hone their talents without really hard work.
Back then, I didn't even know what my talents were. I thought I was "just."
I've heard that it takes 100 hours of practice to get good at anything. That is probably a bare minimum.
But I believe something else. I believe that if you want to succeed in anything, you have to truly, deeply believe that you can... and that you will.
I also believe that you don't necessarily need a degree in that which you want to succeed in. You know, unless you'd like to be a doctor or a lawyer or whatever you want to do requires a certificate. Good grief, my degree is in Social Sciences with a concentration in Psychology and Women's Studies ... yes, that's a true story.
What you need is experience, commitment, a belief in yourself, and quite likely ... someone who strongly believes in you.
I believe that we can do what we set our minds to do. I believe that we are not "just" anything.
I believe that I can succeed. And I believe you can too. And not only that. I want you to. Because I want my daughters to believe the very same thing. They are more than "just".
Last night on Twitter Oprah wrote "Intention defines outcome. Don't believe me? Look at your own life.". She says this a lot. But last night, after a somewhat emotional weekend, it got me looking at my own life more than usual.
What are my intentions? Overall, I intend to be a good person, to contribute to the lives of my kids, family and others in a positive way, to live a happy and meaningful life. But does what I say and do match my larger intentions? What are the intentions of all of the little actions I take and do they match up with my overall intention?
When I was in acting school, we'd dissect a script this way. We'd look at each and every word and ask what the intention of the character was in saying what they were saying. For the truth is, with each word we say, with every action, there is an intended outcome.
For instance, what is my intention in writing about intention?
For myself, I intend to become clearer on what my intentions are. But what do I want you to think, say or feel? I want you to know that my intentions are good. I want to be upfront about my intentions and make them clear to everyone who reads what I write over the internet, whether it be here or on social media. And I want you to know what my intentions are for my business as well.
So in black and white...
My intentions in my business:
1. To create pretty, unique, fun and useful products for the sewing, gift, home and paper (etc) industries.
2. To offer inspiration about creating and sewing and motivate people to create.
3. To make a living doing what I love... and send my kids to college with money made doing what I love.
My intentions on my blog and social media (twitter et al):
1. To let you know about new products at Bari J.
2. To build brand awareness.
3. To let you in on tidbits of my personal life and behind the scenes at Bari J.
4. To build connections and friendships.
5. To be social.
6. To generate business for Bari J. in order to make a living doing what I love.
Ah. There it is. That feels good. Thanks, Oprah.
Lastly, I want to say, I intend to think about what my intentions are with each action and each word.
I intend to be intentional.
We now interrupt our regularly scheduled sewing programming to tell you about my adventures in health and weight loss...
I've struggled since my early twenties with my weight. For a time around the age of 21 I just stopped eating, which is a whole other discussion and thank heavens I came through it. But still, food has always been an issue for me.
Since having children my weight has yo-yo'd up and down. I've never been seriously obese ... just heavy enough to not feel well. I'm a lifetime member at both Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers which serves as an example of just how many times I've gained and lost weight.
In the past, weight gain was slow and due to pregnancies for the most part. However, when I hit 40... well, the poop hit the fan. It is nearly impossible to lose weight and Oh. So. Easy. to gain weight. If I'm not working out, it is an absolute given I will be gaining.
A couple weeks ago, Super Husband saw the movie, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. He too has steadily gained weight, but has never ever dieted or tried to change his lifestyle. But this movie must have hit him sideways because he was gung ho about it. It's a documentary about a man who goes on a juice diet and loses 80+ pounds. Along the way, he encourages others to join him. A truckdriver he meets changes his life on it. He was truly fat, sick and nearly dead.
At any rate, hub wanted to do this thing.
I, on the other hand, was dead set against it. Number 1, having had issues around eating in the past, it scared the crap out of me. Number 2, over the years I really have learned that "everything in moderation" is the way to go. However, I also liked that he was so excited about getting healthy because, frankly, I've been worried about him. So, begrudgingly, I gave in.
On Sunday we bought our juicer and purchased a boatload of fruits and veggies. I printed out the daily plans (from jointhereboot.com)and we started on Monday. The plan was to stick with it for 15 days. We chose the plan that you do 5 days of eating and drinking your fruits and veggies, 5 days of only juicing, and then another 5 days of eating and drinking them.
Day one was not too tough until dinnertime. We both thought we'd puke if we had to eat another vegetable. And we both had raging headaches. Mine was not from caffeine withdrawal because I only have 1/2 a cup of coffee everyday anyways. His headache was probably exacerbated by lack of caffeine. While I knew he'd had at least a cup that morning, at least it wasn't his usual whole pot of coffee.
Day two was easier, again, until dinnertime. Dinner was baked squash with mushrooms and onions plus the blandest homemade vegetable soup on the planet. Both of us were irritated beyond belief. And I we were both certain that there is something seriously off about not having the slightest bit of protein.
Mind you, I'm not a nutritionist or a doctor, but even I know there's something amiss about that kind of imbalance. So here's my verdict on the plan and our intended course of action:
1. Juicing, for even just a couple days, it's a great way to get you aclamated to eating a ton of fruits and vegetables if you don't already.
2. Juicing is a great way to get in that ton of fruits and vegetables without choking down an entire garden (which is what we've eaten over the last two days).
3. The plan for the longterm lacks balance. I need a damn egg, people. Or beans or chick peas or something!
4. I'm super glad we got the juicer and did this because I feel like I can turn my eating pyramid around (i.e. less bread, more vegies and bits of protein instead of tons of fatty protein). I did not miss bread one bit. And I will continue to use the juicer in this same way. I'm just adding a bit of protein.
This morning I microwaved an egg with a spray of olive oil followed by a juice made from tomatoes, carrots, lemon and ginger which was absolutely delicious (and btw, contained 2 1/2 tomatoes and 4 carrots for each of us). Later, I'll add chick peas to my salad. Bottom line is, we are not going to do the 5 days of just juice, we are going to continue to eat and drink the fruits and vegies and we are adding a small amount of low fat organic protein to the mix. And we hope to just continue on this way indefinitely. I do not miss the refined sugar and processed foods at all.
And the kids have been eating healthier too. They've been making their own dinners. Last night they made pizza on whole wheat tortillas and had salad.
Also, today I am looking for some side pouches to add to my bicycle. Yesterday I rode up to the UPS store and grocery store to drop off packages and pick up more veggies but I could only get as much as my basket would hold. My plan to get in exercise is to ride my daily packages up there instead of driving them. I may also start yoga again. Looking for good options.
And by the by, I lost 2 pounds over the two days we've been doing this. I feel pretty dang good.
Dear Blog,
It has been a long time since I last wrote. I'm sorry, and I've missed you.
We were in Arizona last week. And I didn't even say goodbye or leave you with something fun to do. To top it off, the only pics I have are of my sister's son who is adorable, but since he's not mine, I don't feel right posting those even though I know you will oooh and ahhh because he is the most adorable baby in the entire world. I'm not biased. Really. He is. Edit: Except for my brother's baby who ties for first place in the cutest baby in the entire world contest.
Oh! But I did take a photo on the road of my two babies! Too bad they hate posing for pictures. We always take the dogs with us so we are on the look out for Good Places to Let Them Do Their Thing. On our last trip we found this amazing orchard at the end of a dead end street. This time, I was sure to take a photo. I'm positive we are not supposed to let them out there, but ...ahem... we do pick up after them so I hope Farmer Brown never comes after us with a shot gun for trespassing.
At any rate, this here is what you get when you ask 12 and 14 year old sisters to pose for a photo after they've been in a car for five hours and still have eight left to go. I say, "For crying out loud! Just go stand together over there and look like you like each other! One, Two, Three!". Snap. Sigh. Give up.
In other news, I'm getting ready to go to Sisters on Sunday. So I have been making extra samples, copying patterns and generally planning my classes. In the middle of this I was asked (and I'm glad I was, trust me) to submit some art work to someone ... but within three days. So, I gratefully scrambled to get all that done. Pretty happy with the results too. Last night I stayed up until two in the morning. I don't think I've done that since college! I mean stayed up to work. But I did what I had to do, and frankly, I loved every minute of it. However, due to the stress, my darned chin broke out again. (I feel the need to say this so if any of you see me Sisters and you only see me at events, where I am generally stressed out, you will know that I don't always look like I have the measles.)
But, I digress. Before I go I wanted to leave you with at least a little something to make up for my desertion last week, but then I never got anything done to give you. And then I remembered... I have been meaning to post about this for a month! Actually since Spring market in May. I did a little project with my Art Journal line for Sew4home. I just love their website. It's full of fabulous projects.
I did two for them. A pinwheel playmat and a little burp cloth. I hope you will make them and enjoy.
And btw, you can get some Art Journal fabric from many online stores including Fabritopia, Fat Quarter Shop, Hawthorne Threads and more! Just saying.
Well, have a great holiday! See you in a week ... or less if I figure out how to get photos off my camera and on to my laptop while I'm away. (I know. I'm a genius.)
XO,
Bari
When Jenny Doh asked me to write a story about how "Art Saves" for her website, CRESCENDOh, I knew exactly what I'd say. It's not something I talk about much, but certainly a story about what has shaped my life.
Read my story here. Comment and share yours.
Also, be sure to check out my recommended links. Jenny is posting two each day.
(Photo to the left is a jean jacket revamp I designed. It was published in Stampington's, Altered Couture, by then editor, Jenny Doh. It is still one of my favorite published projects.)
My friend Janis gave these to me when we went out to birthday lunch last week (I'm 41 now!). I'm amazed at how they are beautiful at every stage of opening. They are the best gift ever. Thank you, Janis.
WARNING... BEEP BEEP ... WARNING...
The following message is delivered by a bragging mother and it might make you feel like vomiting or otherwise becoming ill. You have been forewarned. I take no responsibility for any negative response you might have.
So... back to that jabber about my kids being talented and all:
The girls and I were back at painting class this evening. And as you can see... they are clearly gifted. Anna can free hand just about anything. I have no sense when it comes to being able to look at a picture and then draw it. She can do it in her sleep. (As a side note: she's been doing it since Kindergarten. I noticed she would place her hand with her pencil in it above a drawing she wanted to do, move her hand in as if tracing it, and then place the pencil on her paper and draw... she's a genius, I know!) And I simply can't get over Emily's painting. I know I'm her mom, but I think it looks downright professional.
This is Anna's work in progress based on a Japanese cartoon:
And here is Emily's finished Cabin in Winter painting.
I know, right? They are incredible!
I on the other hand, required much attention from our teacher. She may have been the tiniest bit frustrated by my lack of following directions. I'm just saying.
This is my rose in progress. A bit cartoony. It needs several more layers of paint including a glaze plus I totally think it requires a stem because it totally looks like a floating rose here. **sigh**
BTW, we have a fantabulous teacher, Kathy McCartney. If you are in the SF Bay Area you might want to take a class...check out her work here.
I have issues. Vintage bling hoarding issues. Even when I say, "Man, I've totally run out of vintage goodies for my bags". That really means, "There's nothing I feel like using... right now.".
Last night I was searching online for a piece of jewelry to go with an outfit that I want to wear at market next week. And I soon realized that even if I did find that fabulous piece, it was never going to arrive here on time. So... because I have SO much spare time, out came the goodies and the old jewelry making materials... (Did I ever tell you I used to make and sell jewelry from salvaged pieces? No? Wellza, I did. It was like a thousand years ago. My youngest was two or so when I started so let's see... it was almost a decade ago.)
Anyways, I digress... I got out the old jewelry making materials and fussed and mussed with it until I came up with a couple options.
I like 'em, but I am super pleased because Anna called dibs on one (didn't matter which one) for "When you get back from market, Mom.". 13 year old girl likes it. Now, that's a compliment (Don't tell her I said so... she'll take it back.)
It was all of my own doing.
I've been quiet for awhile... Not much to say, or much that I can say. It seems I'm working on things I'm trying to keep secret all the time... Not anything new or earth shattering or anything, but you know... Bottom line is... today's post is because I miss you, and so I'm going to blather on about this and that to hopefully entertain you...
I haven't mentioned it before, but I'm a big reader... recently finished Shelter Me, The Hour I First Believed, Water for Elephants and several others. Highly recommend Water for Elephants. I have to admit, that I read through the entire Super Bowl even when Super Husband was jumping up and down and hooting and hollering.
Weekend synopsis:
When there wasn't some of this...
Or some of this...
or this...
There was some of this...
And I loved this...
And I know I promised you some of this...
La la la. What a week. I have no idea where time went off to. Kids were out of school on Monday (teacher's work day... can there be more of those???), I had a little disappointment on Tuesday which hosed the whole day. Then Wednesday, Thursday and today I spent playing catchup. (Note to self: limit pity party for self to one or two hours minutes not the whole day.)
I found myself sitting here last night at midnight creating a sign for Farm Chicks. It's a really big document and while it was saving in Photoshop, I was falling asleep. Head bob. Head bob. Oy. After about the fifth time my head went bob-diddy-bob, I realized it was time for bed.
Today it was cut cut cut cut cut bags... drive drive drive bags to seamstress. I usually send a big package of fabric and cuts to her on Wednesday via UPS, but missed that deadline, then missed the same deadline the next day. So today I was forced to drive it there. Needless to say this didn't make me very happy.
Plus, I meant to take some pictures to show you of the artwork on the front of the bags, and totally forgot. Poop. And, I'm absolutely convinced that there is something missing from the box. Did I forget a side or bottom to a bag? Am I going to find a straggler handle somewhere in this mess tomorrow???
I want to show you a picture of the floor in this room, but I have a strict rule about only posting pretty pictures. No dirty laundry, or some a pot full of goop that I'm cooking up for dinner. ((I see a lot of pretty dinner pictures here in blog-land, and I always wonder how you got the light so good when pointing the camera down into a pot. Someday you'll have to explain that to me.))
So, I leave you today with this banner. It took forever and a day. For whatever reason I was having a brain fart about how to do the scallops. I shall share this with you some day because I had a serious light bulb moment and figured out how to do it. It was painfully obvious... I guess that's why I missed it. Like I said (or do you know this by now?), I'm always looking for a way to create drama.
Good night.
~b
Is anything better than a vase of tulips?
Only a vase of pink and orange tulips.
Take more bike rides with my kids. 
Read more Great Books. Craft just for me. Take more pictures of the kids. Go to the Beach. Go on a Date with Super Husband. Drink a glass of Wine. Sleep in. Make great meals. Take a VACATION. Dream. Take a Hike. Read with the kids. Buy Flowers. Make a skirt. Finish a Quilt. Go Antique Shopping. Take a ride with no destination. Make some stationery. Write letters. Plant a Garden. Go to France. Try new Teas. Enjoy the Sunshine. Drink Lemonade. Take a Walk. Listen to Music. Be Silly.
Happy Weekend!
I preface all of this with the fact that I am accutely aware that things could be worse, and that I am truly blessed and all that good stuff.
Buuuuut... all things being relative,I gotta' do my little whining routine and get it out of the way.
I've got all these pretty fabrics waiting to be turned into aprons and low and behold the workload (or my own carelessness) finally caught up with me.
I'm not complaining, mind you. Oh, no, not me. But Super Husband is "Sick-And-Tired-Of-Hearing-About-It", so it's your turn now.
This will sound silly, but what's happened is I have a "repetitive motion injury". Whaaaaaat???? Uggch. Sounds easy enough to get out of the way... but no... I have done quite the number on myself.
About two weeks ago, I woke up with numb fingers, which isn't unusual. I do every day (carpal tunnel, don't we all have that?). But that day, on the ring finger and pinky of my left hand it didn't go away. Still hasn't. Tingle, tingle as I type away. Must type with right hand.
Now, most things, I'll ignore. In fact, it's my habit to get on Web MD and I look up things it might be. Then I find the most benign possibility and decide that's what it is. My Plan is to Forge Ahead in Bissful Denial. (Note: this never applies to my kids and dogs, them I drag to the doctor on the first sign of trouble. Super Huband is on his own, because he's impossible to drag.)
But my plan did not work this time. Web MD didn't quite let me get away with it. Numb fingers means "go to doctor". Phooey!
Don't I have better things to do with my time?
Apparently not. Because it turns out I've done a little damage to Miss Elbow, hand, wrist, neck et al. And if you touch that funny bone area it sends me straight to the moon. And I mean just slightly touch. Not tap, not knock. Lightly touch and there I go...Zing-diddy-zing.
This means a bunch of trips to physical therapy (which, btw, are not seeming to work) and possibly a trip to Scary Doctor with shots in the elbow. Or worse, the neck, which is apparently where most of this mess started in the first place.
Ugggch! This is all very unappealing.
Honestly, I've never had anything that stopped me from doing the things I need to and want to do (aside from little surgeries here and there). I'm very fotunate. So, this is causing me some distress. I realize I'm almost 39 years old, but it really feels like high school was about a week ago. So, this just seems down right silly. I couldn't have repeated a motion enough to injure myself. I'm just 18... errr 38 years old. Not enough time to do that.
There it is, folks, my whining quota for the year has been met. No more! And Pretty Lady in Waiting Fabrics, I'm going to find a way to get you made into aprons, with or without me.
PS... On a funny note... To sleep, I have to wear this great big splint on my arm... along with a wrist brace on each hand because it apparently isn't good to wake up with numb hands... And to top my lovely outfit off, because I grind my teeth, the dentist has me wearing a mouth guard. Oh, and because it made me laugh, I decided to wear old sweat socks to bed too. Really. It's a sight to behold.
I was near a Container Store today, and I had an urge to go in. This is nothing new. If ever a place lured me, it was a Container Store. Zombie-like, I am drawn in like a magnet. But today I resisted this urge. And this is when it all started.
You know how when you try to resist eating a cookie it sometimes leads to a feeling of deprivation... which then causes you to eat the whole box (I've never done that ... ah-hmm... I'm just saying...).
That's what happened when I resisted the urge to go into the Container Store, open my wallet and pour out the contents. It caused me to return to my studio and literally tear the place apart in my never-ending-quest-for-organization. Curse the Container Store!
I wish I could show you the mess, but alas, I am so appalled by it, this can not be done.
I will however show you the one and only drawer that is finished while the rest of the room is in shambles. Isn't Hello Kitty cute? I put her there just for you. She belongs in the back.
You do know that I can't go to bed with this mess here or I'll never get anything done tomorrow, don't you? The mess will weigh on me. I'd stay in my pajamas, aimless all day.
I know you don't believe me, but it seriously looks like a bomb went off in here. You'll just have to trust me on this one. Super Husband walked in took one look and turned around and left. He knows better.
So here goes nothing... I'm off to clean up this disaster. There is a lot of coffee on the horizon in the morning.
I've been thinking about the things I tell myself. Some of them are not so good...You know, "You're never gonna' make it." "What were you thinking?" But these I am training myself to let go of.
There are other things that I tell myself often that ... well.. they work.
I've been having a bit of a good run with these lately so I thought I might share some them with you...
The very first one is from my dad, who probably doesn't even remember saying this to me. It's, "Never take 'no' for an answer from someone who doesn't have the authority to tell you yes." I say this all the time to Super Husband... especially if he's on the phone with customer service for something or another.
I'm famous for saying, "Can I please speak to the supervisor on the floor?" When the Supervisor says "No". I continue with, "Is there someone else that might be able to help me with this?"
That has often lead to being disconnected... but other times, baby, I get what I want.
It has many-a-time impressed the heck out of Super Husband who didn't think it was possible. He once had a air conditioning guy say to him, "I'll be over in five minutes, Mr. Ackerman. Just please don't let your wife make any more phone calls."
That was a good one! I'll be proud of that for the rest of my life. This particular air conditioning guy, because of my phone calls, was forced by our city to rewire hundreds of homes because they had used a phony permit to install. Muhahahahahahaha!
My other mantra is (I think this is from my mom)... "You don't get what you don't ask for." It's definitely along the same line as the other mantra, but it is totally affective for whenever I'm scared to death to take the next step. It has also gotten me flight and room upgrades while traveling. There's nothing wrong with that, I say.
Another one that I like is "You can't win unless you play." Well, hello? Duh. But then on the other hand, I often find myself saying "I never win." Yeah, but did I enter to win?
So, what's your mantra? Do you have one? Is it negative like my meanie voice sometimes is? Or did you have you managed to kick that meanie's butt?
I'd love to add some positive ones to my repertoire. If you share them, I'll compile a list for a future post!
You know how sometimes you wake up and you've just got to tell your dream? I told Super Husband this morning about a dream I had right before I woke up and his response was sort of lack-luster. It annoyed me. I'm not sure he was even listening. So, now I've got to share. You may even relate, who knows?
There is a caveat. You have to promise me that you will share a reoccurring dream with me too... You may feel like commenting below, yes? (Talk to me... please talk to me... I work all alone in this office and I'm talking to myself half the day, so when you don't comment I think I'm writing to myself too).
I have a bunch of reoccurring dreams.
There's the quality "Flying over Everything" dream. I like that one.
There's the "I'm searching for a clean toilet for hours only to wake having to pee like nobody's business"dream and the "I'm swimming in the ocean, down a river, floating in a never ending water park only to wake having to pee like nobody's business" dream. I don't like those.
Then there's the "I'm on the Oprah Show" dream. These are usually pretty fun. Sometimes O and I are even friends.
The last reoccurring dream is going to confirm my lack of sanity. This dream made it's way into my regular Oprah show dream last night, and it was mostly disturbing when I woke up. But when I was dreaming, I was quite content.
I've had the dream that got mixed into the Oprah dream for the last 14 years. It's about my grandfather, and may be due to the fact that he passed away when we were on our way back from our Honeymoon. He had surgery that we all thought he was going to get through while I was away, and unfortunately that wasn't the case.
I dream that it was all a big mistake. I come home and I tell them they were wrong, that Grandpa is not gone. They bury him anyways because they think I'm nuts. Only to find out later that I was right. I know ... this is gross. Grandpa is then exhumed and is alive and well. He's with us but in this really tenuous kind of state, and of course then I wake up and realize it was all a dream and I'm really angry and sad all over again. When my grandmother passed I started dreaming the same dream about her.
Last night... or early this morning... Oprah's producers were setting my Grandparents up on a trip to Napa where we were all going to meet them at a spa resort. In my dream I'm telling the producers that my Grandfather is an amazing man, that he was buried alive and survived. I'm going on and on, and they're just taking what I say at face value.
At some point during this spiel I realize in my dream that I'm dreaming, but I don't want to know that I'm dreaming. So, I somehow manage to keep it going for a bit. And then suddenly I'm awake and totally disoriented. I start telling Super Husband something about my grandparents miraculously coming to life to be on Oprah. I'm not sure the words made it out of my mouth all the way before I realized again that I was dreaming. His response... "Sounds like you miss your grandparents."
Uh, yes. But "wasn't that a weird dream?" 
What's my point in telling you anyone who has access to the internet and floats by my little bloggy about these dreams? Nothing really. Just had to get it out.
I do hope that my Oprah and Grandparent dreams do not get mixed up again. And if I had my druthers, tonight I'd dream the "Flying over Everything" dream.
Oh my gosh! I forgot to tell you about the "I'm in my childhood home and all the doors and windows are open and all the lights are on dream." Oh, and what about the "walking through a house of doors dream"? My mom has that one too. Oh dear. I do have a lot of reoccurring dreams.
So, now, fess up... what have you been dreaming about?
I was going to make this an edit to the other entry about blog headers, but then I started having a lot to say so here goes...
After asking you all for your input I realized that the reason I couldn't decide was because I didn't really like any of them. But this one, I'm keeping. I'm not even asking.
I think it's much cleaner and I like how it pops when the window opens.
The background is a pattern I recently created in Photoshop. You see, it's not really an obsession with banners, per se. I'm fixated on the idea of designing patterns for fabric and paper.
I almost hate to admit it, really. So many people want to design fabric etc... it seems like the new trend. It's like saying "I'm a handbag designer". Yeah, yeah. So's everyone else.
Do you have this feeling? Deep down in the pit of my stomach there's always the question... "What makes me special?". I ask myself, "Is this the path I'm supposed to be taking?" "Am I meant to be doing this?"... Are we "meant" to do something anyways?
Some days, I think I'm totally on the right track. Other's ... oy. I just don't know. But I do know that when I get an idea in my head I just can't let it go. The idea goes something like this to self: "You can do that. I'm sure you can do that. You just have to do it."... and on and on.
Here's the deal though... my real philosophy... if I have one: I think that in our lives doors open and shut. Sometimes they open and we decide to walk through them ... or we don't. What was beyond that door that I didn't walk through? I'll never know. So, maybe the idea of doing such and such is just a door opening. So walk through, I tell myself. You never know where it will lead.
Wow... deep. I must be exhausted.
~b
No, no... wasn't me. That was my evil, self-destructive, alter-ego. I can't believe she got into the ice cream again. I can't tell you how many times I've warned her about that.
Alter-Ego has been very naughty lately. Just last night she posted the list below on the Women Take Wing forum, and since she had such fun writing it, I thought I'd share it with you all. It might clear up Alter-Ego's foray into the freezer last night.
Signs that you have been over-working...
If this is you... there is help. Go take a long bath with your favorite magazine and a cup of tea. If that doesn't do the trick, polish off the carton of ice cream and claim that your diet starts tomorrow.
See! It was all her idea. I would NEVER eat all that ice cream.
Super Tuesday:
I feel obliged to say get your rears out there and vote if you are in a Super Tuesday state of the U.S.! I did my civic duty right after kid duty (morning drop off). I left with a big smile on my face, and am wearing my, "I Voted" sticker proudly. For some reason, this election seems really exciting to me... more than in the past.
The Biggest Mess Ever:
That done, I got myself right to work and made this mess... with-in about 30 minutes.
There is another picture of what is on the floor that I was too embarrassed to show you. So, I'll let you imagine.
A Must-Have Tool:
As I was sewing up the creation that was made in this hurricane, I was delighted to use my new Purple Thang (yes, that's really what it's called). I lost the other one so I bought a new one. And when I bought it I said, "I just know I'm going to find that Purple Thang when I get home.". And guess what? I did. Now I have two Purple Thangs which makes me happy because there is one ready and available for backup when I drop the first one behind the desk again.
As a good citizen, I also feel obliged to tell you that Purple Thang is the most wonderful tool ever. It has prevented me from sewing straight through my finger on many occasions. Purple is a most perfect tool for these collage type sewing projects where I have a million little scrappies sticking up all over the place and the free-motion quilting foot does not make a good barrier. Trust me, I know... thank goodness it was only the plastic that came down on my finger becaue that sucker hurt!
You can get a Purple Thang here... I have no affiliation with this website... just sharing. It seems to be a good resource for all sorts of goodies.
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