We are starting to smell like dead fish...
you know the saying.
I'll start this post with a photo... it's the view as we drive into my parent's neighborhood. It's gorgeous. We are very happy living here... and will be happier when we buy a house so we aren't stinking up the joint at my parent's house. I know they'll be appreciative. (We put a bid in today, btw... but it's a short sale, so...).
Ok, so now that I've blinded you with the beauty of this place, and you know we are ok and love our family, I'll get down to the nitty gritty.
It has been decided that a reality TV show needs to be made not only about this particular living situation. In all likelyhood, my parents all on their own would make for a classic reality comedy... Why you ask? Ohhhhhhhhh... maybe some of the things on this list will give you a hint.
1. In January Dad (not so impulsively... ha!) bought a ping pong table sans the legs. He did this so he could put said ping pong table on top of the formal pool table in my mom's formal living room next to her gorgeous buffet filled with glass and collectibles so he could play ping pong with his grandchildren (two of whom are living here and are teen girls with expertise in eye rolling). I'll just say, the ping pong table did not make it's way into the Living Room (yet). Cue Mrs. Costanza a la Seinfeld: "Allllllllennnnnn!!!!! Over my dead body! You are not putting that ping pong table in the Living Room!!!" Hence: Dad bought legs for said ping pong table and has been building something in the garage for it... we don't know what. But make a mental note of it and read number 2.
2. My dad is not handy. I repeat: My dad is not handy. This is much of the reason I made a conscious decision to marry a man who is handy. For example, there are a few deferred maintenance issues that Super Hub has been fixing around here. One of the items on his list was to replace the back door handle and lock as it stuck and was very difficult to get open if you weren't using two hands. While Super Hub and I were back in CA packing and closing on our house in late January, Dad decided he'd change the handle and lock himself. He was very proud he'd done this. We were proud of him. And everyone was amazed he'd taken the initiative. Two days after we got back, late at night after letting the dogs in, I confidently turned the lock and quickly turned to go to bed. Immediately: "Clink! Clank! Klunk!". Me: "What the heck?". I turned on the light to look. No lock on the door. Lock is now on the floor. So... ummm... ok. Super Husband will continue working on "the list".
3. Mom watches Judge Judy at 4PM. Every. Day. And if you have the pleasure of sitting next to her, you'll find that she will smack you in the thigh and tell you, "I told you! Didn't I? That Judge Judy! She doesn't take any guff!". And anytime a defendent starts with "Ummmm...", you'll hear mom in unison with JJ, "Um is not an answer!". The girls told her they were going to get her a Judge Judy t-shirt... Mom said she'd prefer a Judge Judy lunch box. Because Emily "got a Hello Kitty lunch box, so it's only fair".
(Now read the first sentence in number 2 again. Ok? Go ahead and read number 4.)
4. Dad just spent the past week creating "something" in the garage. No one would tell mom and I what he was making, but we were certain he was up to no good. Until we came home from somewhere or another Sunday afternoon to find...
And there was one for me too. Who knew? The man has a sense of humor. And, with just a bunch of pieces from Home Depot? Very clever.
5. My mom leaves sticky notes everywhere. Usually it's things like, "Do not leave the bread basket on top of the toaster when you use it!!!". She may or may not be a slightly anxious person (I don't know where I get it.) But this has won the prize as my all time favorite sticky note from mom...
Yes, that is gefilte fish. It is "For Passover". The question is, which is more concerning, the fact that (a): Mom put the note on there because she was afraid someone (Dad) might eat the (shudder) gefilte fish before Passover or (b): She was worried Costco would run out of gefilte fish before Passover which is in April or (c): She didn't just hide the gefilte fish in the pantry because she was afraid it would "get lost" or she would "forget she had it" and buy another.
I don't know. You decide.
5. We counted. Dad has 6 musical instruments, including a ukelele...none of which he can play... We forgive this because he didn't have a good childhood. Which also explains the remote controlled helicopters and airplanes, telescope and not just one gaming system that he, "bought for his grandchildren".
6. Mom shuffles down the hallway in the morning. Her slipper steps are recognizable all on their own, but she shuffles with her iPad blaring talk radio. She carries it all over the house for that matter. And PS... she leaves it on when she leaves the house. I am convinced it's an evil plot to brain wash me... which ain't happenin'. I'm just saying.
Ok... so this is all for now... more later. Seriously. I could write a book.
ohhhhhhh wait... PS there are 6 animals in this house. 2 Labradors, 2 Pugs, and 2 cats. Think about it.
PPS My parents are aware that we make a very goofy bunch.
You've stopped at the online journal of Bari Ackerman (the J. is for Jill, my middle name). I am a fabric, sewing pattern and surface designer. I love to create. And, I love to share ideas and dreams with other creative people. I hope you'll stay for a visit. And, feel free to chime in on the conversation. You know, so I don't think I'm talking to myself. Thanks for stopping by!
