Today I'm drawing feet. And sofas. And drinking cups. And whatever is in front of me. And there's a reason for this.
I've never gone to art school. Since I started down the road of designing fabric it's been something I haven't liked to say. But I'm saying it today because despite that, I can finally and profoundly recognize that I do in fact have talent. (And don't write me hate mail about being stuck up, it almost hurts to say I have talent.)
Here's why I can finally say this. This weekend, rooming with Tula, I had an epiphany. I had expressed to her that there are certain elements of drawing I've struggled with due to not being trained. And because of that, when I have a moment of brilliance, it seems like it was magic... Like what I've come up with happened accidentally. There is something innately painful about that feeling. And quite frankly, that makes me feel fraudulent. Almost like it wasn't me who created what I did.
After describing what I had been experiencing in a late night chat, Tula offered an impromptu lesson on a couple skills I might had learned had I gone to art school. After just a couple minutes, bells went off in my head.
I have in fact been doing what she was showing me. Intuitively and without words to describe what I do, I manage to eek out art.
In Tula's words, art school gives you a language to describe what you do. And with that knowledge and tons of practice you are able to pull from that base to create on demand without the struggle and trial and error I sometimes go through. While I know how to do my work and do it well, I want more. I want to know more.
Of course, right now I don't have the time or money to actually go to art school. I've got two girls to send to college shortly after all.
But what I do have is absolute resolve, infinite persistence and books. Lots of books.
And so I have enrolled in the Bari J school of art. It involves tons of reading and lots of drawing. And today I started with a drawing of one of my feet.
No laughing at how chunky it looks allowed. Feet are hard to draw.